Attachment Disorder

It’s probably best to start by saying that I have what psychologists might describe as an attachment disorder. This is not your typical attachment disorder, where, because you never established a personal connection with a caregiver in your infancy, you are unable to form quality relationships with those around you as an adolescent or adult. No, this is a much more profound attachment disorder involving my relationship with inanimate objects.

I keep old toothbrushes around that remind me of better times, when my teeth weren’t quite as yellow and drinking cold soda didn’t make me to wince with pain. I have a t-shirt that I have worn since I was fourteen, whose once thick, black fabric now more closely resembles the see-through nighties on the covers of the Victoria Secret catalogs that my mother would throw away as soon as soon as they arrived at the house, worried about their effect on my impressionable mind.

I have boxes and boxes of childhood blankets, clothes, and toys. I also have pictures of me playing with those objects as a child so that, in the event of amnesia, I will be able to remind myself exactly why the strange, duck themed blanket and Little Slugger baseball hat are tucked away in my attic.

Not all my possessions get the same treatment. You’d think I was crazy if I kept old gum wrappers or holey gym socks from my youth baseball teams, but if you try to throw away that black t-shirt, or the suit which I wore throughout my mission, you better believe that we are going to go fisticuffs. Ironically, my mom did throw away both of those important articles of clothing, and I’m not embarrassed to say that I retrieved both of them and they still proudly hang in my closet and are worn on a regular basis.

That’s what makes this moment so difficult. As I stand above the sink in my hotel room, holding what is left of my electric razor, I feel as if I’ve lost a member of my family, or at least a close family friend, taken from me in its prime. I should have known better than to pack it in my checked baggage, leaving it exposed to rough baggage handlers and drug sniffing dogs, whom I hold personally responsible for this tragedy.

I had considered replacing it with a newer razor prior to this trip; one that actually cut my hair on the first pass and didn’t leave my skin feeling like the hair had been scrubbed off with sandpaper. But how could I replace such an old friend? I’ve had this razor (I don’t even know if “had” is the right word, I mean, can I really use such a possessive word in reference to a friend?) since I was in college. This razor came with me to Honduras, where I served as a full-time missionary for two years, and where I only could use it occasionally, when I felt confident enough that the electrical outlet I plugged into wouldn’t catch fire, or worse, send a power spike through my razor and kill me, or at least rip off part of my face.

Looking below my hotel sink I see the trash can, its plastic liner ready to accept my razor like a body bag at a crime scene. No, I won’t bury it here; I have to take it home, home to a familiar place that it will recognize, home to the drawer in my bathroom, like an old work horse gone out to pasture. There it will sit, next to the old toothbrushes, and watch the younger toiletries come and go. At some point my wife will notice the two electric razors in my drawer and I will have to explain another of my bizarre traits, and hopefully she’ll understand.

At that point I’ll move it to the attic next to the duck blanket and Little Slugger hat.

I love my wife

See why here. I am the luckiest man in the world.

The 'Stache

In response to Katie's "cute" picture on her blog, I thought I'd share with you my favorite self-portrait:No, that's not Tom Selleck (although I do see the resemblance), it's me after an entire week's worth of mustache growth a few months ago. With Katie out of town I decided to grow a mustache and felt really good about the results. I unfortunately have been plagued with a very thin beard (think 13-year-old Chicano), but despite Katie's dry heaves every time she sees these pictures, I think it's obvious that I reach my pinnacle of hotness when I go 'stache.

And in case you were wondering, I didn't do it the weak way (where you lazily grow out all your facial hair for a while, cut off the rest, take a few pictures, and then shave it off before you go to work). No, I did it the old fashioned, manly way, where you shave everything but the 'stache, go to work each day, face the double-takes and unspoken judgements from your co-workers, all in the name of doing with your upper lip what the good Lord intended for it.

I'll close the post with a few of my favorite 'stache poses.

The "Swindler":
And, the "Babysitter":

Yikes.

No Internets

If you ever stay in Starkville, MS, be prepared to connect to the Internets using an empty tin can and a string. It takes one minute to open any email on my laptop, and since I receive 100+ emails a day (yes, I am kind of a big deal), it has taken me four hours to clear out my inbox and try to download some slides for a presentation. At this point it would have been faster to drive to Jackson, fly back to Austin, drive to work, download the slides to a thumb drive, drive to the airport, fly to Jackson, and drive back to the hotel. I hate my life right now.

This has really made me realize how crucial the Internets are to my existence. Without them I wouldn't be able to communicate with co-workers and customers, blog, look at funny videos and pictures of lolcats, and waste time in general. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Read a book? Write a handwritten note to thank my parents for all they've done for me? C'mon!

What can't you live without?

Marathon Man #2

I'm not too proud of my efforts last week. I did get out and run twice for a combined distance of 3.5 miles, and while I could make excuses about the altitude or the abundance of friends and family that took up my free time (recruiting is very time-intensive), in the end I have to blame myself for not keeping my eye on the prize.

At the same time, I was proud of my eating during the trip. As I said before, recruiting trips mean I'm eating out every meal, and on the company's dime. Last week at BYU I paid closer attention to whether or not I felt hungry, and not on if it was time for a meal or not. As a result I felt better about myself and much more in control of my overall health.

26.2 is a long way away, but my attitude towards a healthier lifestyle is improving.

On the road...again.

I'm in Starkville, MS, this week recruiting at Mississippi State University. You may think that sounds off the beaten path...and you'd be right! Starkvillie is two hours north of Jackson, MS and a world away from any place I've ever been before. There's something very American about the "Deep South," where people are friendly and talk with a heavy drawl. There are huge trees everywhere with the occasional clearing for a farm or a small town and I've been driving my co-workers nuts with my constant comments on how pretty it is.

For those of you scoring at home, I've been gone most of the last three weeks (I was only home for 18 hours last Sunday) and I miss being home with Katie and the dogs. Thankfully, this is my last week of recruiting and I don't have any plans to travel until Thanksgiving.

Great Friends

I had some time tonight to visit my great friends, Kyle and Michele Reyes (by the way, Michele is an amazing photographer). It was really good to see them again and it made me think about how many great friends I have. To those of you reading this blog, and the many other friends that aren't, thanks so much for your friendship and influence in my life. I am blessed to know so many great people!

What I'm Reading

Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

This book is my new business bible! What Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People (a definite must-read) did for sales and marketing professionals in the last century, this book does for today. Keith Ferrazzi is a natural-born networker and he talks about how business today is driven by relationships and that business cycles come and go, but relationships always remain. The book is full of techniques and recommendations that I am already applying to how I work.

I know that there is a stigma out there that networking means schmoozing and manipulating to benefit yourself, but Ferrazzi goes into detail on the importance of real, interdependent relationships. Just like Made to Stick is to the science of marketing, Never Eat Alone is to the science of business relationships.

I have read the book twice in two weeks and have taken detailed notes (let me know if you want a copy). I can’t stop talking to everyone I work with about how great this book is for driving personal and corporate business success. If there’s one business book you read before Christmas, this has to be it!

Three reasons why Never Eat Alone is worth your time:

1. You’ll learn the importance of and how to reach out beyond your own circle of friends to people that can help you achieve your goals.
2. You’ll learn techniques that will help you be indispensible in your current job.
3. You’ll learn how to develop your own “brand” so that people associate you with the adjectives you want.

Let me know what you think once you're done!

"Back" to Utah

This week finds me in Provo, UT, where I am recruiting at my alma mater, BYU.

I flew in on Sunday and sat next to the most interesting guy. A Boston transplant living in LA, Bob looked like a white-haired Lou Ferrigno and cussed like a sailor. He has spent the last 15 years doing electrical and plumbing contract work in the mulit-million dollar homes of the Hollywood rich and famous. He had some really interesting stories, and as different as our personalities were, we really hit it off.

Bob called to his hotel to request a shuttle once we landed, and was surprised to hear that a hotel in Orem, UT didn't have an airport shuttle (it's a 45 mile drive). Being familiar with Utah, I wasn't the least bit surprised. My hotel was less than five miles from his, so I offered to drive him and we continued our interesting, colorful conversation for another hour as we drove to beautiful Utah Valley (the next valley south of Salt Lake, home to such metropolii as Provo, Orem, Lehi and Spanish Fork).

I always expect a little more out of BYU recruits and I can already feel that I'm going to be especially tough on anyone that tries to share a mission story as an answer to a behavioral interview question. While that's not at all common, it actually happened to me last year. I asked an interviewee to share a time that he took initiative and he responded with a story about how his mission companion and he fasted to find a family to teach, and it worked. Don't get me wrong, that's a great story, but how am I going to come back to Austin and convince our recruiting folks that this guy could fast and pray to resolve a customer issue, or find a unique way to complete a project? No way.

Marathon Man #1

So let’s get one thing straight, my wife is amazing. She’s the total package: smart, hot, athletic, musical, smoking hot, amazing with kids, and soooooooooo hot!!! If you’ve met her I can guarantee that you’ve thought one of the following:

1. Dang!!! She is totally hot! Why’d she end up marrying a guy who at best looks like a wet sack of flour when he takes off his shirt?

2. Dang!!! She is pretty close to perfect! Todd didn’t just pull the wool over her eyes during courtship; he tied on wool goggles that she still hasn’t taken off.

So what does this have to do with marathons? Well Katie is a run-aholic and has run four of them since we’ve been married, and as a result is in amazing shape. Me on the other hand? I ran a half marathon two years ago in preparation for Christmas in Hawaii with Katie’s family, but in general I have never made a habit out of exercise. Don’t get me wrong, I can hold my own in most sports (basketball, volleyball, tennis and golf to name a few) but I have never been disciplined enough and as a result I am always fighting to keep the weight down and the body image up. Add in my bad eating habits and I’m setting myself up for weight trouble and even risking future health problems. Not to mention that I always have a bout with poor eating in September since I’m on the road for three straight weeks, eating on the company’s dime.

So one day, after a not-so-pretty run in with the Wendy’s Dollar Menu, I decided that I was going to run a marathon. It’s going to be painful and I’m sure I’m going to want to give up, but I think it will be worth it, both for me and as a great way to bond with my super active wife. So I’ll be updating you all on my progress each week.

How’d I do in week #1? I had a target of running six miles and only ran 4.5. I was really sucking wind both times and felt stiff enough on Saturday (I played golf and mowed the lawn in the morning and was feeling a little sun-stroked) that I decided to wait until this week (week #2) to start again. My goal this week is eight miles.

More next week.

Morning Remorse

Every morning when I wake up, sun streaming in through the cracks in the blinds, the day pregnant with opportunity, I immediately think of what I might do in order to get out of whatever I have planned for the day. Is this little cough or sniffle enough to call in sick? Which meetings can I cancel or postpone? How long before our savings run out if I just stayed in bed for the next few weeks?

It takes a shower and a delicious bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats (w/ Almonds) and I’m back to my normal self, but for those first few waking moments of each morning, I am a lazy, frantic mess.

What do you think about when you wake up?

Travelling in Style

I found out late yesterday afternoon that my ride to the airport from Golden this morning wasn’t planning on picking me up and I’d have to find my own way to the airport. Public transportation was not an option (too far away from where I was staying) and the Super Shuttle could only pick me up at 4:00am for a 9:30am flight, so my only choice was a taxi. I called Yellow Cab and they quoted me a price of $90.

It wasn’t like I was going to have to fork over that ridiculous amount of money from my own wallet, but that didn’t make me feel any better because I don’t want to cost the company extra money if I don’t have to (I hope my boss read that).

At that moment my wife’s Aunt Annie, with whom I was staying, mentioned that she used a limo service to get to the airport and they only charged her $75 for the trip. Again, that’s a lot of money, but it was cheaper and more convenient than any other option so I told her to give her driver, a Moroccan guy name Lazar, a call.

Flash forward to this morning. Waiting for me outside my Aunt-in-law’s house is a beautiful, black Lincoln Towncar with dark-tinted windows; Lazar patiently waiting to take my bag and open my door. In his late 50’s with salt-and-pepper hair, he’s easily one of the nicest, gentlest men I have ever met. No doubt that he is a wonderful father and grandfather. We talked the whole way about Morocco and how Katie and I need to go there for vacation as soon as possible.

For the first time in my life, I was the one in the dark limousine. I was the one that was too important for a bus or taxi. I watched as other drivers passed, trying to catch a glimpse of the VIP behind the dark-tinted glass. “I wonder where he is going?” “He must be important.” “Maybe I’ll recognize him.”

I hope the tint was dark enough. No doubt they’d be disappointed at what they’d see.

...and away we go!

36,000 feet above Central Kansas seems like as good a place as any to write my inaugural Todd’s Blog post. I’m on my way to beautiful Golden, CO to recruit at the Colorado School of Mines (insert your mime joke here). I have been giving this blog a lot of thought over the last few weeks and have decided that no amount of planning compares to half-decent writing so here we go!

Todd’s Blog (or Tizzle’s Blizzle for my homies) is a place for me to update friends and family on what I’m doing, what I’m thinking, what I’m reading and what I’m watching. I have another blog where I try to be hip and cool and make fun of pop culture (I guess “tried” is a better word considering the lack of posts of late). But let’s be honest, I’m not hip or cool so this blog is probably going to get most of my attention from now on. That being said, keep your eye out for the occasional social commentary over at my alter-ego blog.

One final thought. You’ll notice on the right that I have added my Google Reader shared feed. The Google Reader is a tool that I can’t live without. It allows you to subscribe to almost any website so that any new content on that site comes to your Reader like email. That way I can track over 100 blogs and websites that focus on stuff I care about without having to go to each site one by one. I tell everyone I know about the Google Reader and you should too. Don’t be “that guy.” Start using it today and drink from the fire hose that is the Internets.